DEPRESSED, tormented and vulnerable, Jodie Marsh has gone through several dark moments when she has considered taking her life.
She is the envy of thousands of young girls who clamour for a moment in her limelight or to be flown by private jet across the world in free designer clothes.
The 33-year-old South Weald girl is a champion bodybuilder, model, TV star and part-time wrestler.
But the unorthodox redhead has won adoration at a price.
Her dare-to-be-different attitude and success has made her a target for trolls – not monsters in fairy tales or Tolkien novels, but malicious people who use popular social media sites Twitter and Facebook to harass, bully and torment innocent people, "whether famous or not", says Jodie.
Just last month, a 17-year-old boy was arrested after sending an abusive tweet to Team GB Olympic diving star Tom Daley, accusing him of letting down his father – who died of cancer last year – by failing to win a medal in his opening event.
"You let your dad down, you let our country down," the message read.
Every day Jodie logs on to a barrage of obscene insults and she has also received death threats since joining Twitter in October last year and building up 360,000 followers. She has blocked close to 800 Twitter identities since signing up.
Among the insults hurled at her across the internet from trolls are "you dirty ****", "your a top ****, look like yourv (sic) been hit with a pan", "imagine trying to find 7 @jodiemarsh for a i.d parade you'd be struggling to find anyone ugly enough', 'I heard Jodie Marsh got bitten by one of her chihuahuas. That's what she gets for looking like a dog's dinner'.
Twitter may be the modern day celeb's favourite PR vehicle and popularity barometer, but along with Facebook it is also a gateway for anonymous bullies to torment the vulnerable, according to Jodie.
She told the Gazette: "People say to me you're ugly, you're a tramp, you're vile, you've got a face like a melted whatever, that's just bullying and nastiness.
"I get frustrated at how ignorant people are and how thick they are. It's not anger, it's frustration at their stupidity and their ignorance.
"But what does anger me is that they are doing this to other people who are not as strong as me."
Earlier this year, while filming Jodie Marsh: Bullied My Secret Past, a documentary for Channel 5, Jodie met the relatives of Thomas Mullaney, a 15-year-old boy who took his life after being targeted by internet bullies in 2010.
Jodie said: "These trolls, these bullies, they do not affect me at all but they will be affecting other people.
"There will be people sat at home crying, depressed, wanting to kill themselves – there are kids killing themselves.
"I met a family last year whose little boy killed himself because of abuse over Twitter and Facebook so this is happening.
"I went and met them and this little boy, because of abuse online, he hung himself in their back garden, and that's the very reason I started the Delete and Block campaign."
#Deleteandblock encourages everyone to join forces and block people on Twitter who send abusive, aggressive or threatening messages.
When entered before a phrase on Twitter, the hash-tag symbol denotes a mood, consensus or instruction that other users can search, follow or support.
So far it has been backed by celebrities including boxer Amir Khan and morning TV favourite Lorraine Kelly.
Jodie is no stranger to childhood trauma, having suffered abuse at the hands of school bullies from the age of 13.
"Years and years ago I wasn't this strong and when they would abuse me years ago I would spend the day in bed crying, I would literally be an emotional wreck." she said.
"I got punched by a boy when I was 17 and I left the school at that point, but up until that point it had been verbal bullying."
The constant name calling almost caused the teenage Jodie to take her own life.
She said: "There were some times when I wanted to kill myself over it because it was so upsetting. As a young girl to have every part of your face and body abused and pulled to pieces: 'you're fat', 'you've got cellulite', 'you're ugly', 'you've got a dodgy nose' and when you've had every part of you ripped to shreds by the public, it's very, very upsetting.
"You spend years and years of your life thinking you're ugly and worthless and useless or whatever they are calling you. In my case it was I was ugly and I was called a geek and a boffin because I studied hard, I got bullied for being clever.
"I have now discovered that it's actually worse to be verbally bullied than it is to be physically bullied and most kids if you ask them they will also say I would rather they just beat me up.
"And I felt the same way I'd rather they just beat me up than the verbal abuse I suffered for years because the verbal stuff never ever leaves you.
"But here I am in my life now and it doesn't bother me at all.
"You can say what you want about my body, what you want about my face, I don't care I'm happy.
"Nothing that you can say about my face and body will upset me now, because I love my face, I love my body, I love myself.
" I respect myself and therefore it doesn't hurt me, but it does upset me that they might say this to someone else, who is not as strong and does want to kill themselves, who is depressed or who can't handle it as well."
