WE love Chelmsford, but like everyone likes to moan about were they live.
So in an effort to put a positive spin on our negativity, we've come up with things that you'll never hear people in Chelmsford say, based on our favourite gripes with the birthplace of radio:
1) "You can just whizz round the Army and Navy roundabout any time of day."
2) "I really think we need more chain shops in the city centre. I wish it was more mainstream here and not so quirky."
3) "Getting a train from Chelmsford to London in rush hour is a breeze. Plus, there's always a seat spare."
4) "I'm glad I bought my V 2009 ticket before Oasis cancelled. There's not enough pop bands playing."
5) "Mrs Cod in Moulsham Street is pretty quiet after a night on the town."
6) "I'm glad we parked at the top of Tesco multi-storey car park in Springfield Road to do our Christmas shopping. We'll be home in no time!"
7) "I wish they would bring back the seating area outside McDonalds in the High Street. Those teenagers can't congregate outside properly."
8) "Chelmsford City will make it out of the Conference South play-offs this season."
9) " Chelmsford City's ground has far more atmosphere than the old terraces at New Writtle Street."
10) "People never mention 'home of radio' when talking to new acquaintances about Chelmsford."
11) "It's so much better all the street-lights are off after midnight now, I feel safe enveloped in darkness."
12) "They really need to open a Costa in Chelmsford."
13) "Sometimes at the weekend I wish I had a smaller selection of live bands to watch - it's too much."
14) "I'll be voting Labour in May."
15) "Whenever I go to Missoula there's always too many girls. It's the same everywhere in Chelmsford. The bars need more men."
16) "There's some quality motors in Riverside car park that congregate late on weekends. I bet their owners get all the girls."
17) "The TOWIE stereotype has done wonders for Chelmsford and the night-time clientele it attracts."
18) "I'm a massive fan of the generic Joey Essex look that Chelmsford blokes pull off really well - it looks really out there and different."
19) "I'm sure those kids in Central Park are drinking fizzy pop and aren't up to anything untoward."
20) "I'll meet you at Half Moon Square (area between High Chelmer and the High Street)"
21) "I think it's witty and original when people shout 'sex please' at the kebab shops in Duke Street."
22) "I haven't read a story about John Lewis in the Chronicle recently."
23) "Rail replacement service? Get in!"
24) "Having a one-way flyover is a prudent use of taxpayer's money. And it's always open in the direction I'm travelling."
25) "The Ford County Cricket Ground needs a better atmosphere for Friday night T20 games."
26) "I'm so glad we don't have problems with potholes here."
