DONOVAN Simmonds says he 'let everyone down' after his first half red card in Chelmsford City's 3-0 FA Cup defeat to Crawley Town.
The forward was the toast of the city in the previous round after his brace set them on the path to a historic win over Colchester United.
But he went from hero to zero 35 minutes into Saturday's game after picking up two needless yellow cards for fouls in midfield – the first sending off of his career.
He then compounded a miserable afternoon by tossing his shirt at the away bench to the jeers of the home fans.
"I just feel like I've let everyone down," he told the Chronicle. "I've let the fans down, I've let my family down, I feel like I let my son down and I feel like I've let my team-mates down – it was the worst feeling ever.
"I was not happy when I went in to the changing room, it just felt like it was a dream but not a good dream, more of a nightmare. I just wanted to wake up an restart the game."
At that stage Chelmsford were already 1-0 down but his rush of blood to the head turned an already difficult task against the npower League One play-off hopefuls into mission impossible.
The 24-year-old, signed from Dover Athletic, feels the decision to send him off was wrong but admits to being nervous before kick-off and says his frustration grew after not seeing much of the ball in the early exchanges.
"I think I was trying too hard," he said. "You know it's going to be on the highlights, you know people are going to be there watching and I was quite nervous to be fair.
"I don't think the second tackle was a yellow card but there you go.
"I went in to the changing room and it didn't even feel real and I hated it.
"I kicked the door as I was walking in and I nearly broke my foot. I was quite angry and frustrated – that's how much it means to me."
Now he's determined to put the incident behind him and he's received the backing of his team-mates, who he issued an apology to at half-time.
"We've told Donovan that this can't knock his confidence," said goalkeeper Stuart Searle.
"He's the part of the reason that we got this far in the competition so we've all got to move on and focus on other things."
The result, and the fact that Chelmsford only managed to muster one shot on goal, failed to quieten the 1,096 travelling members of the Claret Army who sung their hearts out all game.
Manager Glenn Pennyfather said: "I thought the fans were absolutely terrific.
"I'm upset that we couldn't give them the result they wanted but I'm proud of the run we've been on."
For a full match report, photos and further reaction turn to pages 92 and 93.
