WHEN Bee died it was a tragedy for the whole family; but we knew that she would not have wanted us to sit around moping.
We decided to establish the Belinda Starling Memorial Fund with Essex Community Foundation to help young people in Essex "whose ambitions and talents, particularly in literature, drama or music, just cannot take root without help, encouragement and money".
It would have made Bee very happy to know that a fund in her name was giving young people opportunities to realise their full potential.
We flagged up our intention to launch a memorial fund at Bee's funeral in August 2006 and it was heartwarming the way people kept on saying "You will let us know when it is up and running, won't you?"
The fund has grown and has already distributed almost £11,000 in grants. The first was to the London Bus Theatre Company and the other grants were to individual young people in Essex. Deciding to set up a fund in Bee's memory was a no-brainer, but with whom to set it up was a more difficult decision.
We did not want to run the fund ourselves because of the complexities of dealing with a charity.
I knew of ECF through a friend and it was reassuring to find that the money from the fund would get to where it was intended, the administration was first-rate and the costs were reasonable.
But ECF's real strength is that its people know where the really needy young people are and they can help us spend the money with precision and maximum effect.
Bee was dealt a bad hand, no doubt about it, but if in years to come people can look back and ask 'Who was this Belinda Starling who helped me get to where I am today'? and also realise that there are still young people being given help because of her death, then we will have done OK.
We would like to see more applications from young people who could benefit from Bee's fund and would also like to encourage other people to think about setting up their own fund with ECF.
I suspect that in due course we would have left money in our wills to set up a fund with ECF.
But what we have discovered, albeit through tragedy, is how enormously rewarding it is to have done it in our lifetime.
I thoroughly recommend to other people not to wait until they are dead to do likewise.
Bee was an author, singer and songwriter who lived in Wivenhoe. She was married to musician and producer Mike Trim and they had two children, Jasper, now 13 and Rohanna, known as Roo, now nine.
Bee died knowing that Bloomsbury would publish her first book, the Journal of Dora Damage. What she did not know was what a success it would be. English literature, drama and music were her great loves and one of her happiest times was, at the age of 19, teaching Romeo and Juliet to some teenagers in KwaZulu, one of South Africa's rougher areas, a place where, as Bee said, "they all know what tear gas smells like".
Bee's letters home that summer made it clear how much she enjoyed sharing her intellectual gifts with others less fortunate and that she had discovered a truth that for some remains hidden all their lives. "I can't explain how much I love them," she wrote. "They can be obnoxious or stroppy and I may tell them off strictly, but they have my love and trust and I have theirs and I just love them.
"Why does everyone go round as if love is a scarce commodity that must be rationed? There's a huge reserve of love waiting to be tapped into and it will never run dry."
The Belinda Starling Memorial Fund is channelling that love into helping young people, now and in the future.
