BARRIE Drewitt-Barlow, one half of county's most recognised gay dads, has praised the Queen's ratification of gay marriage but said it is "bitter sweet" as Christian churches still opt against the ceremony.
Britain finally legalised gay marriage when the Queen gave her royal stamp of approval on July 17 after the bill was introduced in January.
The Queen's approval of the Marriage Bill clears the way for gay marriages, the first of which are expected to be conducted by summer 2014.
But religious organisations will have to "opt in" on performing gay marriages, and the Church of England and Catholic Church are not willing.
"It is like someone giving me a sweetie with the wrapper on and telling me to suck it," said father-of-five, Barrie, 42, from Maldon, who had a civil partnership with partner Tony, in 2006.
The couple made history in 1999 when they became Britain's first gay surrogate parents and have now fathered five children through surrogacy.
"We are happy for gay marriage to be recognised – in that sense it is a big step. But it is actually a small step because it is something we still cannot actually do.
"We need to convince the church that it is the right thing for our community for them to recognise as practising Christians.
"I am a Christian – a practising Christian – my children have all been brought up as Christians and are part of the local parish church in Danbury.
"I want to go into my church and marry my husband.
"If I was a Sikh I could get married at the Gurdwara, liberal Jews can marry in the Synagogue – just not the Christians.
"It upsets me because I want it so much – a big lavish ceremony, the whole works, I just don't think it is going to happen straight away.
"As much as people are saying this is a good thing I am still not getting what I want."
House of Commons Speaker John Bercow announced that gay marriage had become enshrined in law – the day after the bill to legalise same-sex marriage in England and Wales cleared Parliament.
The Bill allows gay couples to get married in both civil and religious ceremonies in England and Wales, and couples who had previously entered into a civil partnership can now convert their relationship to a marriage.
"We have a civil partnership, me and my husband Tony," said Barrie, who owns a surrogacy centre in Chandlers Quay, Maldon, and is about to open another in Los Angeles.
"The only way forward for us now is to make a challenge in the courts against the church.
"It is a shame that we are forced to take Christians into a court to get them to recognise us.
"But we don't want to force anyone into marrying us – it is supposed to be the happiest day in my life and that would make me miserable and would spoil the whole thing.
"Aren't Christians meant to forgive and accept and love?"
